That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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