sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
