Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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