This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Drunk walkin through police station. America
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize