My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
