she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The uberlube is also flammable
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
