the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
