Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
