Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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