I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Acid is not a monday night drug
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize