Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize