guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
