dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
