i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
