Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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