I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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