Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
