So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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