And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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