Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize