so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize