Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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