I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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