when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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