All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
