Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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