when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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