You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
