"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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