my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
