We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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