'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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