Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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