i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
