I want to walk on stilts...naked
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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