it hurts more in the daytime
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
