Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
