I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
