She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
