Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
