So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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