Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let's get the cat blown out
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize