you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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