I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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