i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
