Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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