You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
