I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
