Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
