Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
