all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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