dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
