I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Blood and glitter go together right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
