it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
