You're my little dorito
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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