You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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