Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
