We named our party play list daddy issues
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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