he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
