He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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