what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
