I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
