i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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