2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so explain again why im purple
no
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How drunk are you?
Completed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
