what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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