hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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